i spent years in a hole of my own making,
a circuitous rut
reinforced daily by my own two feet.
visitors would find me,
once similarly confined themselves
inviting me to find a new way.
in response i
dug my heels in deeper.
guided by the familiar pull of habit energy,
fear welcomed me back
to the safety of the suffering i knew.
but now i know
this darkness is a rope, not a prison.
each piece of life saving twine hewn from
hours of
fear
anger
shame.
hand over hand i hauled myself
out of the canyon i created
toward the light of
wonder
curiosity
joy.
some days i am tempted to descend again.
i return to the edge,
stare into its depths
feel the familiar pull of habit energy
but my feet stay planted.
and now i know
even boulders turn into sand.
